I am going to smoke Jason this week, here is why…

I’m gonna rise up. I’m going to kick a little ass. I’m gonna kick some ass in the USA. Gonna climb a mountain. Gonna sew a flag. Gonna fly on an eagle. I’m gonna kick some butt. I’m gonna drive a big truck. I’m gonna rule this world. I’m gonna kick some ass. I’m gonna rise up. I’m gonna kick a little ass. ROCK, FLAG, AND EAGLE!

Jason’s team is going down and it is pretty easy to see why. Let’s look at the matchups.

QB

Me – Andrew Luck

The guy has been tossing footballs around like no other this offseason, they may or may not have been nerf footballs, but he looked great doing it.

Image result for nerf football andrew luck
Bonus: He looks great in shorts.

Jason – Tom Brady

See picture.

Image result for tom brady kissing son
Is a caption even needed?

RB

Me – David Johnson, Alex Collins

David Johnson may have broken his wrist last year, but the dude is a beast and will reclaim his throne as the best fantasy RB in the league this year.

Alex Collins will be playing the team with the worst fantasy run defense in the league last year.

Image result for buffalo bills bad defense
The Bills are going to have to stop arm tackling if they want to bring Collins down.

Jason – Zeke and Gurley

Gurley is confirmed to be a weirdo.

Zeke is also a horrible person as we all know.

Image result for zeke elliott crop top
Yikes.

WR

Me – Adam Thielen and TY Hilton.

People forget that Thielen was a wide reveiver 1 last year.

Hilton will be coming back with a vengeance this year.

Jason – OBJ and Hopkins

Hopkins – was ruined in one day by Iggy.

DeAndre Hopkins and Iggy Azalea

OBJ – Just made all his money so who knows if he will even show up. If he does he will have to worry about Jalen Ramsey (who we have learned is the best talent evaluator in the league).

OBJ Net.gif
OBJ will have to get by the net if he wants a chance at Ramsey.

Flex

Me – Tyreek Hill

THill.gif
Tyreek Hill (above) calls Jason and lets him know he just got demolished.

Jason – Keenan Allen

The guy played 16 games for the first time in his 5 year career last year. Chances he stays healthy and loses his job? I don’t know, but I never talk about another man’s job.

Tight End

Me – Trey Burton

Will throw at least 3 TD passes this week to Mitch Trubisky.

Jason – Travis Kelce

People forget that he had a dating show on E! called “Catching Kelce”. Talk about being desperate.

Image result for catching kelce

Kicker and D/ST

I will follow Nick’s lead here and ignore this after his beautiful blog showed me that is the way to go.

Prediction

I clearly have the advantage at every position and it isn’t even close. Let’s ignore that ESPN has projected Jason to win 148.9 to 130. In reality the score will be…

More than A. Thielen – 247.6               Rob Gronkowski – 43.8

Have fun losing this weekend, Jason.

I’m gonna rise up. I’m gonna kick a little ass. ROCK, FLAG, AND EAGLE!

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