Week One is in the books. It went as everyone expected, the powerhouse division of The Relevant teams outscored every member of The Athletes, and Don, division. There were some solid coaching decisions, and some not so great decisions (Sacko benching the quarterback he named his team after). But there is one special idiot who has earned himself the inaugural, Blockhead of the Week:
Donald McCann, The Return
Now this man has named his team The Return, referring to hopes of returning to the Naomi Bowl which he won way back in 2015. If he continues making coaching decisions like he has this week, he will be collecting Sacko titles and punishments only. Let’s take a look at what Don has done this week to land himself as the Blockhead of the Week:
First off, he traded away his veteran, future Hall of Fame quarterback, Aaron Rodgers. This is an incredibly dumb decision to make under any circumstance, but at least maybe he could have gotten a lot in return for the best player on his team. Right? WRONG!! He received Marvin Jones Jr. and a second round pick in next year’s draft?!?
Now I must admit, when Aaron Rodgers went down in the first half of the game, I almost complimented Don on his trade. Aaron Rodgers is coming off a season ending collar bone injury in 2017, and it looked as if he may have had another serious injury early in week one. Maybe Don made a good move and got rid of Rodgers when he still had some value? But then, Rodgers went into the locker room, was injected with some happy juice, and came back from the dead like The Undertaker himself. Rodgers dropped a discount double check on the Bears, and put up 30.9 points, placing him as the 5th highest scoring QB for the week.
It’s a good thing Deshaun Watson put up a solid 13 points, and Marvin Jones Jr. dropped a whopping 9.4 points as Frat Stafford was clearly too drunk to know which team he was supposed to throw the ball to…
That seems like enough alone to land yourself as Blockhead of the Week, but Don really wanted to solidify his spot. As the worst Jets fan to ever exist, Don hopes for a tanking season every year. He bet fellow Jets fan, Jordan (the same man he handed Rodgers to), $100 that the Jets will win under 6 games this season, with the league’s 5th easiest schedule. The Jets don’t seem to have any plans of tanking after they came out and made a statement against the Lions on the road. We’ll have to keep an eye on Fireman Ed and the J-E-T-S to see if Don can dig himself into a deeper hole this season.
That’s it for Week One’s Blockhead of the Week. Everyone be careful with every decision you make, Blockhead is watching.
Jordan, Chalupa Batmans, for ever letting me that close to his cousin.
Greg, More Than A. Thielen, for poking a God Damn bear calling out Jason and his Jew Magic.
Nick Leffler, Bad Kamara, for shit talking and losing to this week’s Blockhead of the Week.