I apologize for the missed blog last week. I was busy watching Nick yell at Vic in a loud club, watching Ryan pour beer on people, and helping Don clean puke off his pants. Gods Plsn. I considered writing the blog as we returned to Ryan’s apartment around 4 AM, but Mighty Taco was calling my name and anything that comes back to an apartment with me after 2 AM will get the attention it deserves.
To make up for a few lazy weeks, I will present you 3 SOTW winners this week, all equally deserving of this semi-prestigious award.
1. The Blockhead SOTW
Let me set the scene; Don and I are driving home after an exciting weekend in Buff (see above). Lot’s of talk about fantasy football, girls puking, Nordic countries, our feelings for each other, Burger King, and post-modernism. Just a couple of guys being dudes.
I was tasked with multiple things for this ride home: 1. DJ 2. Checking FanDuel 3. Checking fantasy scores 4. Observing and grading Don’s driving ability and 5. Bullshitting him to make him believe I know anything about economics. It was a lot to ask of me but I think I gave an above-average performance, I would give myself a 5.7/10. I was able to give him live updates as I squeaked by him to win Fanduel as well as keep track of his close game against Keegan. This was a very important game for him, if he won he would be guaranteed the number 2 seed, a bye, and the rights to name his division next year.
Don and Keegan were neck and neck throughout the ride, two of the worst offenses in the league were battling to try to break 90 points, neither did of course. As we neared the end of our journey we learned that Don had finished with 87.6 points. Keegan was on his ass with 86.5 points, and he still had 1 player left. That player is a SOTW.
Dallas Goedert….. the boy couldn’t catch one ball which gave Don the win. Shame on you Keegan for having to start a backup tight end.
A. The clutch SOTW
I am getting tired of writing, I was going to do long segments for the next two but screw that. I’ll keep them short.
There was one game in week 13 that was a loser-leaves-town game. That was Don Eaves vs Nick Zeglen. Naturally your SOTW is….
Zegs pulled out the win. This is nothing new to him. All he does is win, Naomis and Sackos, that is.
I. The good for me SOTW
Finally, I might have actually gotten lucky for once. Never mind the fact that I have the 3rd highest PF in the league but ended at 6-7 and got the 6th seed. Also, I am stuck playing Josh, who is easily the second best team.
ANYWAY, James Connor has been ruled out and it doesn’t look like Melvin Gordon is going to play. PHEW! While Josh will probably still kick my ass, it will be closer and probably more devastating/embarrassing instead of just a boring blowout. The final SOTW is….
Payback is a bitch. Don was able to grab James Connor’s replacement, Jaylen Samuels, off of waivers. Talk about coming full circle, Josh grabbed Connor and left Don in a bad spot after Leveon Bell decided to quit on his team. Damn, that worked out well for me.
Okay I’m done now and am happy I will not be wearing a dress at the draft.
Rock, Flag, and Eagle.