Guster’s Guarantees

turk giphy


Happy Thanksgiving to all of my loyal degenerates! I hope that your stomachs will be as stuffed as your wallets are after yet another winning week from Guster! This time of year really makes me thankful that I am able to share all of this handicapping success with the Guster faithful. Winning is fun, but its even more fun when you have a squad to ride with. I’m also thankful for my haters. Without you dweebs I wouldn’t have the motivation to rub all of my accomplishments in your stupid faces. Love you guys! Lets recap what happened last week:

Saturday NCAAF:

Minnesota fought hard but fell short to Northwestern in the early afternoon with the Orangemen getting blown out by Notre Dame after Syracuse’s quarterback Eric Dungey got hurt early in the day. You can’t predict major injuries so I don’t feel bad about losing that one. The evening games were split with Texas taking care of business and UCF proving to be more of a legitimate contender than I gave them credit for. Washington State helped avoid a heavy red day by beating Arizona handily. We finish the day 2-3.

Sunday NFL:

After the down day on Saturday following a 2-3 Sunday on the previous week this was building up to be a massively important day to stop the bleeding. That’s exactly what we would get. The lone 1:00 game was nailed by Dallas who survived a late comeback scare by Atlanta. Would just like to point out that one of my favorite haters, the infamous Joshua Reich, called me out on picking Dallas. Happy to report he’ll be eating those words with his deep fried turkey and stuffing tomorrow.  Both mid afternoon games fell into place with the Raiders and Broncos sneaking out big upset wins on the road and securing a positive day with 2 games in hand. Unfortunately Kirk Cousins is just a total loser when it comes to big games (glad that fool turned down more money from the Jets) and couldn’t step up to challenge the Bears on Sunday night. The fate of the week was left in the hands of the Chiefs on Monday night in what would prove to be an absolute explosion of offense. My confidence in the cover for this game fluctuated with every drive and probably took a few years off of the end of my life but was totally worth it in the end as Kansas City found a way to cover by the slimiest of margins and secure winning week. NFL picks finish 4-1 and overall bring home a 6-4 week.

Overall record moves up to 32-23 (58%). 

This week I have a Turkey Day special for you guys. I’ll be picking all of the Thursday winners. GOBBLE GOBBLE!


Week 13 NCAAF Picks

Buffalo -15 @ Bowling Green

Pittsburgh +4.5 @ Miami FL

West Virginia +2.5 vs Oklahoma

Washington +3 @ Washington State

Penn State -13.5 vs Maryland

Week 12 NFL Picks

DET +3.5 vs CHI

DAL -7 vs WAS

NO -13 vs ATL

NE -9.5 @ NYJ

PIT -3 @ DEN



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