Any Given Sunday

To quote Kanye West “I just told you who I thought I was. A god.”

Well here we are fellas. I have become champion once again. There are two teams who have 2 rings and it was I who dethroned the other 2 ring champions aka Jafar. Jafar put up a wonderful season, only to crumble when the chips were down.

Where do we begin? Well I began this year believing that I easily had the worst team in the league (sort of right). I believe that my team wouldn’t amount to much more than 2 or 3 measly wins – mostly against Keegan. But boy was I wrong.

I eventually racked up 8 wins, enough to squeeze Jordan out of first place – thank you Dallas Goedert and Keegan. With that, I took on a difficult task: beating a team 3 times in a season. Jafar could do it of course, but me? Could it be done? The answer was yes. I defeated Zeglen despite some surprising performances. This lead to an interesting rematch dubbed Don V. Jafar II.

Going into this matchup, I was sure that I would lose. This kid averaged more PF than any team ever. He had more starters and stars than any other team (due to some questionable actions taken on Keegan. It seems he’s vital for any and all league related events). I was out manned and it was looking bleak.

But a ray of hope shined through. Gurley might be ruled out. I needed all the help I could get so this would be amazing for me. Luckily, Gurley played an afternoon game AND was a game time decision. Score. Jafar wouldn’t have many replacements. So he had two options: either replace Gurley in his lineup or wait it out and hope for the best. He decided on the latter. That was a poor choice.

All of these factors culminated in what I believed would be a close matchup that turned out to be (another) blowout. Jafar was defeated 130.9 – 87.2

I can only imagine the things going through Jafar’s head…

Maybe it was:

Or perhaps it was:

But I think his little Jewish noggin was thinking:

Overall, we had a wonderful season gentlemen. Keegan is the Sacko. He’s going to be giving me a glorious lap dance in his sexy maid costume come draft day. Jafar’s dynasty, much like the Golden State Warriors, has been derailed for the time being. And balance has returned to the league. I want to thank all my supporters aka Jordan. He was the only person by my side in my epic David vs. Goliath battle even though he was not very found of me the previous week.

And with that. I’m out.

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