Week 2: Gus Hates Success

I want you all to know that I stand by my week 1 picks. Gus gave you some alternative truths as to how he won week 1 of our challenge. But let us think about what actually went down last week and why Gus’s “victory” has a big fat asterisk.

Colts +6.5 @ Chargers: Gus won by half a point. If you read his recap, you would think he got screwed because of Vinatieri. But guess what Gus, some people have bad games. Who actually got screwed? Me. Overtime rules are bullshit. We have known that for forever. But what is not talked about is the fact that the extra point is not kicked on a touchdown in overtime. What the shit guys. The Chargers went out and did exactly what I thought they would, win by a touchdown. Blame this on Goodell. Commissioners are always to blame…

Pittsburgh +6 @ Patriots: I won this by 24 points. Don’t forget that.

Texans +7 @ Saints: What do refs have against the Saints? If you missed it, the refs screwed up the clock when the Saints were marching down the field before half. What happened as a result? Lutz missed a long field goal. Now those 15 seconds may not have made a difference, but they could have. Maybe the Saints march down and score a touchdown and then the Saints would have covered. Maybe the field goal is good and the rest of the game is played out differently. Who knows. This game should not have mattered for the bet, see above, but it did. In the end, the Saints won by 2 points.

I covered my game by 24 points, Jordan covered his by 5.5 points, and only won because of collusion with the NFL and because he had some good karma coming his way after that frail human being threw out his back doing laundry. You read that right. Gus cannot even do laundry safely.

But let’s focus on week 2. Gus made some dumb picks again. Nothing new, but this week he won’t get lucky. I have chosen these three teams because each team has had recent NFL success. All three picks have won a Super Bowl recently.* On the other hand, the teams Jordan picked have one thing in common: losing to the Patriots in recent Super Bowls.** We only like winners in this blog.***

LAR -2 v. NO: This is all about revenge. New Orleans was looking past the Texans with an eye towards this game, a game they have had circled since getting screwed out of the playoffs 8 short months ago. Both teams are loaded and I won’t lie, I am worried that the Saints lose this game. 2 points is not all that helpful, but I think the Saints win this game straight up. Confidence level: 4/10

ATL +2 v. PHI: Atlanta sucked last week. Granted, the Vikings are a great team. Philly looked good last week, but they played the Redskins. Why do I feel good about this pick then? Philly is loaded on offense and defense and I am not confident Atlanta can stop them. Confidence level: 5/10

DET +2.5 v. LAC: Why does Gus hate the Chargers? Is it because he traded me Ekeler? Is it because they have had years of success while the Jets have languished in QB purgatory? He is picking Detroit to lose by less than a field goal. This is the same Detroit team that just tied the Cardinals, a bottom 3 NFL team. I have said what needs to be said. Confidence level: 8/10

*The Chargers have not had success and have never won a Super Bowl. I just wanted a theme and I think the Chargers will cover the spread.

**Detroit never lost to the Patriots in a recent Super Bowl.

***Regular season fantasy dominance qualifies one for “winner” status for purposes of this blog. A Naomi is not a requirement.

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