Not Your Father’s Power Rankings: Week 3

Have we traveled back to the future?

The more things change, the more they stay the same. Jason is in first, Donald is the lowest point scorer in the league, my entire team has contracted Ebola and Keegan is unable to execute a trade that doesn’t simply mystify the rest of the league. What our league lacks in originality it makes up for with constant arguing, multiple references to my genitalia (looking at you Keegan), and of course a classic power struggle for authority over our prestigious league. I for one have given Josh my full confidence moving forward and in no way shape or form am I required to say that by law.

The Rise

Teams on the rise include Daniel MF Jones who is up 3 spots this week from dead last to on the cusp of a playoff spot at #7. Though GT’s team hasn’t shown me much improvement the teams that he leap-frogged have all but solidified themselves as the worst of the bunch. This rise is more of an indictment on the bottom 3 than it is a vote of confidence in Greg’s squad.

Me and Mahomies is also up a couple spots this week to #3 on the back of his two cornerstone pieces Patrick Mahomes and Saquon Barkley. If they can continue to put up solid numbers each week Zeglen will only really need one other player to have a big game in order to have a chance each week. For the time being I cannot ignore the results so 3 is where he sits this week.

The fall

The two biggest drops this week came from Make Amarica Great Again and the Chalupa Batmans. They both dropped two spots respectively from Jordan at #3 last week and Keegan at #6. Keegan’s continued idiocy was on full display this week as he lost his franchise QB Drew Brees and traded away his #2 QB Jared Goff AFTER Brees’s injury. Continually stuck between rebuilding by selling his assests (i.e. BOTH of his best QB options) and trying to compete now by trading away every first round pick he has ever come across, Keegan is someone who clearly just lives on another planet. Jordan on the other hand was destined to come back down to earth. As we saw last week his squad relies heavily on the rightful 2015 Heisman Trophy Winner Christian McCaffrey and with Cam Newton’s skills seemingly snatched up by the Monstars the tough sledding looks to continue for McCaffrey of the rest of the season. That being said Jordan is still securely in a playoff spot and with his white steed ready to become a thoroughbred at any second he continues to be dangerous.

Week 3 Power Rankings

  1. Jafar
  2. Don Eaves
  3. Zeglen
  4. Josh
  5. Jordan
  6. Ryan
  7. GT
  8. Keegan
  9. Leffler
  10. Donald

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