Valued readers of the Wasted Talent Dynasty League, snowflakes, and people easily upset by ridiculous things,
Welcome to the inaugural post of my new column; Dave’s Upset of the Week!
As the title would imply, this column will be used mostly to, as Will Ferrel once said, “Get the people going”. For too long have we gone without hot takes and controversy in a written medium from your’s truly.
Quickly, I should let you know what my criteria for these picks are:
1) ESPN Projections
2) NFL Matchups
3) My Personal Preference/ My Logic
BEFORE YOU SAY THESE ARE FLAWED CRITERIA, realize I absolutely do not care.
So without further delay, here is my upsets of the week for week 6.
1) When I Cum I Phillip Rivers > Me and Mahomies
This seems fairly straight forward. ESPN projections are absolutely terrible 90% of the time, and they have Mahomies over Cum Rivers by about 7. Bold move of Coach Reed to start 3 members of the Seattle offense but for this week, against a mediocre Cleveland team, it may work out for him. Russ is on fire and as Collin Cowdung constantly argues “he’s an elite athlete”. Couple that with Mahomes coming off a down week and playing Houston, and Terry Mclaurin playing the dolphins, and I think the Cum Rivers can pull this one out. I’m picking Rivers -10.
2) OJs Patrol Board > Saved By Le’Bell
This one is tough. ESPN puts this matchup at Le’Bell -12.5 but again, I think that is a terrible line. OJ hasn’t scored less than 130 all season, and Le’Bell could possibly see a downtick in production depending how the Jets game plan with QB Sam “my spleen is finally okay” Darnold. Look for OJ to slash his way to another win, but don’t count Le’Bell out. This one could be a shootout- the first place team in Relevance (Le’Bell) VS the second place Athlete (OJ). I’m taking OJ -5.
Unlike my colleague Guster, I make no guarantees on these upsets. What I will say is that in this league it seems anyone can beat anyone on any given week. What more drama could you ask for?
Want a really tough game to pick this week? Miami VS Washington. Who knows with that one. And no one could legit care, except Bills fans who play Miami twice and Washington once over the next 5 weeks. By week 11 Buffalo could be 7-3. Circle The Wagons cause my hottest upset of the year I will make now. Buffalo will beat New England in Foxboro for the AFC Championship *Que collective outcry*.