I am doing this blog from the D train. If that isn’t a heroic effort then what is? Also, here comes the time in every season where I forget what week it is and don’t bother to check really so I’m going to go with Week 5.
In this past week we have learned a few things. Jordan’s team is confirmed bad, Jafar is gambling his life away at the running back position and Frank’s team, despite a 4-0 record, (fuck you guys) loves being injured.
I should have mentioned this earlier on in the season but my power rankings criteria is a bit different than ones you will see on NFL.com, ESPN or Fox. Frank’s Power Rankings are expertly crafted using proprietary software that does not predict who will win that week or who will win the whole season. Rather, it is a perfect combination of teams performance so far this season and where we think these teams are headed.
The Power Rankings
1. Kittles and Blitz: Even with Joe Mixon hurt, Miles Sanders being underutilized the train rolls on for Don en route to another disappointing 3rd place. Chase Edmonds has provided a spark necessary to keep this team at the top.
2. Blockhead Boys: Ryan’s squad was slated to be a Don like power house this year they have not lived up to that hype. With that being said a 2-2 record does not truly show how good this team is. Look for the Blockheads to put together a little winning streak and get back on track.
3. New Stove in the Kitchen: A reclamation of glory for the Stove’s. Apparently Saquon is good? Najee emerging as a premier pass catcher for the Steelers has catapulted this team to a chance to compete for a championship rather than a Sacko. If Mike Williams dominance can continue this team will be very tough to beat.
4. Jafarison Jafar: If there are 2 things I hate in this world it is Jason’s roster construction and the idea that a hot dog could be a sandwich. With that being said he just fell a whole 5’ 2” head first into another fill in RB for the time being. Hopefully no defenders pick up Damien Williams and carry him 30 yards backwards for a safety!
5. Frank’s Process: For any chance at a championship this year Frank’s process must weather the injury storm and hope to be healthy come playoff time. Though they are 4-0 this week looks like a tough task taking on Kittles and Blitz.
6. Josh Allen IS Vaccinated: As of right now the drop off after the Top 5 is significant. Keegan secures that top spot because of his 3-1 record. If Zach Moss can vulture his way to a top 20 RB finish, Keenan will have a good chance of sneaking into playoffs.
7. Sutton to Believe In: Josh has life, but it is fleeting. Javonte needs to emerge as the clear lead back soon and Michael Thomas needs to be an instant impact player for Josh to even think about any sort of run this season.
8. Is this my year?: Truth be told I almost put Donald in the #6 spot but the news of his first round pick worthy Chris Carson made me stop in my tracks. Though Donald does have Alex Collins it is unclear whether he will have fantasy relevance.
9. Albany Fantasy Football Team: One of only 2 teams under 500 PF this season Greg has just as much of a chance as anyone in the 6-9 (nice x2) range but he needs to find a spark at RB real quick. A fan favorite, let’s see if that spark comes this week.
10. Chalupa Batmans: Maybe a name change can breath new life into this floundering franchise? Sucks to be so hairy Gus.