Frank’s Power Rankings

Wasted Talent Teams as NFL Franchises: The 2022 Kick-Off Special

Since I was a young boy I always envisioned me and my friends playing sports for professional teams, especially the NFL. I would spend hours creating a team on Madden and including the boys on the roster. Ryan Reed was an unbelievable red-zone target for me in Madden 2010, legit uncoverable (didn’t hurt that the entire team was 99 overall).

Heading into the 2022 season I wanted to bring back the nostalgia of creating yourself in Madden, before the game was shit. So I decided what better way to honor all of the members of WTFFL than to compare them to a franchise in the National Football League. Though some comparisons may not be exact, I do see a bit of us in these supreme athletes, but only a bit.

Sacko: NFL Comp – Atlanta Falcons

Record Prediction: 5-9

Both Gus and the Falcons had a tough go of it in 2021. Coincidentally they both lost their star WR to a crippling gambling addiction that he surely will not be able to dig himself out of. Can you imagine betting parlays and expecting to be successful?! What an idiot. Sacko and the Falcons have both an influx of young talent, including Cam Akers, Kyle Pitts, DeVonta Smith and Elijah Moore. These players can be real game changers for the poverty franchise that is the Chalupa Batmans (worst name in the league). Though the ceiling has crept upward I still anticipate a lackluster season from Jordan, especially with a wedding coming up. Bold prediction, somewhere around late October Jordan will forget to set a full lineup. God Speed sacko.

David Keegan: NFL Comp – Minnesota Vikings

Record Prediction: 7-7

Keegan is often overlooked in our league when talking about teams that can make a splash. Much like Kirk Cousins in the past few years all Keegan has done is produce, including his first every championship (Unlike Kirk). Sure he had a negative point differential last year but that just means there was a target on his back each game. I am looking for a strong start from this club this year, however I do think the bye weeks may wreak havoc on his squad due to lack of depth and heart. He did pick up some interesting pieces in the offseason that are quite intriguing. If Jerry Jeudy can finally emerge alongside Rashod Bateman, Keegan could be looking at a late playoff push. He could also be squarely in Sacko contention with one or two key injuries.

Jafar: NFL Comp – New England Patriots

Record Prediction: 5-9

It’s possible that this is the most spot on prediction in the entire league. A once proud and dominant franchise, the departure of a few stars and the aging of a few others has left Jason and Bill in limbo. This year will be make or break for both squads. If Jason is able to compete this year it could mean a quick turn around for his interesting collection of misfit toys. More than likely rather Jason will lean heavily into a rebuild after a disappointing season. With no handcuff insurance on either of his star running backs and a massive hole at tight end Jason will need a few breaks to go his way to fight for another championship. If anyone can do it however, it’s Jason and his g-word magic.

Stove: NFL Comp – Los Angeles Rams (2021)

Record Prediction: 9-5

Steve went out and got his equivalent of Matthew Stafford and Odell Beckham when he acquired Travis Kelce from Jason in what some are calling the most lopsided trade since the Jameis Winston debacle of 2015. You can’t deny that Steve is going for it just like LA did last year. His future is uncertain but championships are forever so Steve is focused on the here and now. There is not much else to say besides Steve has the pieces and it will be a colossal failure if he doesn’t make a run at the crown.

Donald: NFL Comp – Seattle Seahawks

Record Prediction: 4-10

I am actually probably the highest on Donald’s squad of all of the Wastes Talent Fantasy Experts. He has proven top end talent with players like Adam Thielen, Tom Brady, Leonard Fournette, Aaron Jones and Deebo Samuel. What he lacks however, is any sense of direction. I would be willing to wager he has the widest range of player ages on his team in the league, but I will have the stats department verify. Get on that Donald. I don’t know what is next for the two time champ but I don’t anticipate many wins this season.

Frank: NFL Comp – Denver Broncos

Record Prediction: 8-6

There are a few question marks surrounding the The Process heading into 2022, much like the questions that are being tossed around in Denver. Will the new QB be able to produce at a high level? Can the tight end position be solidified with the departure of a strong player? Will the young receiving talent continue to flourish? With much of these answers yet to be determined there is one thing that is clear, the ceiling of The Process is high. With 6 players being drafted in redraft leagues in the first 4 rounds, if they can all live up to their ADP the sky is the limit, but as we know ADP sometimes means very little in fantasy.

Blockhead: NFL Comp – Buffalo Bills

Record Prediction: 10-4

A very similar group to the guys in Boston with Stove but a very different way of getting there. Ryan has been building this juggernaut for years and is finally ready to take the next step. Similar to the Bills, Ryan had a missing piece year in and year out until he added the Blockhead equivalent of Stefon Diggs in Darren Waller. This year is not make or break because of the young talent Ryan has stockpiled but don’t get it twisted. It’s championship or disappointment in Buffalo as well as Schenectady. It would be a shame if both groups crashed and burned…

Don Eaves: NFL Comp – Green Bay Packers

Record Prediction: 7-7

I know that prediction may be a shock to most but I couldn’t go this whole blog without zigging when other zag. Since Don is our defending champion and has been rock solid for years I don’t feel as bad predicting an off year for him. Up until recently he has had freakish depth, allowing him to keep on chugging when Chubb gets hurt every year. With a new QB in Seattle and San Fran, I predict some issues with DK and Kittle, at least in the early part of the year. If those two can finish strong and Hockenson can emerge there is no reason Don can’t be a top 2 team again, but it is not guaranteed as it once was.

Dictator Josh: NFL Comp – Los Angeles Chargers

Record Prediction: 6-8

Always the bridesmaid, never the bride. That’s the motto of the Chargers and our good friend Josh. Though he did an impressive job of rebuilding in a quick amount of time, it won’t be enough this year. Josh will soon be back to his runner up ways but Trey Lance and Michael Thomas won’t be bringing him there. If I’m Josh I’m dumping Ekeler to a contender and turning a 1 year rebuild into 2. Javonte will be a big piece moving forward for him, much like Herbert for LA, but will he be a difference maker when it comes to winning? Good luck Josh! Everyone is definitely rooting for you man!

Sir Greg: NFL Comp – Washington Football Commanderskins

Record Prediction: 6-8

Though in recent years the production and importance of fantasy WRs has increased, running backs still reign supreme. And while I have high hopes for JK Dobbins this year, the rest of GT’s running back room does not sit well with me. Breece Hall looks to continue the first round running back dominance that has been the norm in recent years but there’s one issue with that. He plays for the New York Jets. If he can be a big threat in the pass game he has a chance to make waves but it will be a bumpy road. The Terry McLaurin of Greg’s squad will continue to be Mark Andrews. He will produce despite the question marks around him. GT has great talent on his roster but injuries and new situations scare me for him this year.

The brings us to the Week 1 Power Rankings. Through my proprietary formula I have come up with a fool proof way to predict every fantasy game this season. There’s no way any of this could backfire!

1. Blockhead Ryan

2. Stove from Boston

3. Downslope Don

4. Mein Process

5. Josh Allen’s Personal Wiper

6. Father Reich

7. Boyfriends of InstaGreg

8. JaFAR from a winning season

9. Wedding SZN Sacko

10. Poor Donald

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