matchup of the week: week 9

To my great dismay, last week’s Matchup of the Week was NOT a close matchup and was my biggest miss of a disappointing 3-2 week. The overall record is now 22-8.

This week’s Matchup of the Week had another tie in average FPR score. The options were (1) Steve v. Frank or (2) GT v. myself. Every other matchup is abysmal so I am going with Steve (FPR 2) v. Frank (FPR 7). Is it projected to be as close as GT (FPR 3) v. myself (FPR 6). Absolutely not. But my team cannot handle the bright lights of prime time and I am sick of analyzing my advantages to have my team put up under 120 so instead we will focus on how Steve is going to embarrass Frank. Let’s get into it!

QB: Advantage Steve. Steve has the name value and results in Mahomes (QB3) that will give him the advantage every week. This is not to say the advantage is huge this week or that I would be surprised if Frank won the QB battle. Frank has quietly put together a promising young QB room in Tua (QB16) and Fields (QB17) but I cannot pick against Kermit – I mean Patrick Mahomes.

RB: Advantage Frank. Last week I picked against Steve because Henry (RB5) is not enough on paper to overcome whatever shit second RB Steve trots out, this week it is the Bills’ newest addition to their bench, Nyheim Hines (RB43). Last week I was wrong because Henry dropped over 35 points by himself but I just do not see the Chiefs allowing that to happen, especially if Tannehill does not play and Willis throws a mere 10 times. Frank’s duo of Cook (RB13) and Montgomery (RB32) should outperform the King this week.

WR: Advantage Steve. Last week I correctly called a shit week by Gabe Davis (WR37) but AJ Brown (WR7) dropped more points by halftime than both of my starting WRs combined. It is hard to pick against this duo when I think Davis catches a long TD this week and Frank is forced to start Corey Davis (WR50) opposite the legendary Mike Evans (WR11). This is a different story if Chase was healthy.

TE: Advantage Steve. Kelce (TE1) has the advantage over everyone, including the outstanding Goedert (TE7).

Flex: Advantage Frank. Preseason if I told you Frank was starting Jamaal Williams (RB15) and Foreman (RB45) you would have reasonably assumed Swift and CMC broke every bone in their body or pulled multiple muscle groups. Instead, Williams has become a TD machine and Foreman has emerged as a poor man’s Henry who is churning out yards and TDs for an upstart Panthers squad. These steeds have to have the advantage over Everett (TE14) and Jakobi Meyers (WR26). Meyers is having a fantastic year and should get 12-18 points but I am not sure Everett gets the target share needed, even without Mike Williams, to give Steve the win at flex.

Prediction: The positional matchups are tighter than you would think with Frank having matchups in 2 positions so I think Steve wins but Frank covers the 18 point spread. Good teams win, great teams cover.

GT (FPR 3) v. Josh (FPR 6): I cannot pick against myself, but if Andrews plays I do not see this week ending well. Tyreek has been a freak and is on pace for over 2,000 receiving yards, Ken Walker has emerged, and Burrow and DJ Moore have busted their slumps. On the other side I may be trotting out Andy Dalton due to Brady’s poor performance and Noah Fant because of bye weeks. (Please let this early reverse jinx have maximum effect).

Don (FPR 1) v. Sacko (FPR 10): Sacko has a lot to live for, just not football, fantasy or otherwise. This week he doesn’t even have a penis in the matchup score. Yikes.

Donals (FPR 8) v. Ryan (FPR 5): Is it Ryan’s turn to push in his chips, giving a first round pick to the evil ginger himself for a guy who needs steroids to be a WR1. Will it help? Yes, yes it will. Ryan is going to decimate Donals this week who is projected for a league-low 81.5 points.

Keegan (FPR 4) v. Jafar (FPR 9): Jason finally got someone to bite on his elder star. In the process, Jason has truly ripped his team to the studs and is projected for under 91 points. Josh Allen and Stefon Diggs alone may outscore everyone on Jafar’s team, bench included.

GLHF, the Suttons are on to week 10 because there is zero chance we beat the Deaf Guys. (Second attempt at a reverse jinx, you best believe I am doing a mega lineup curse as well).

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