Frank’s Power Rankings

Don’t have time for a drawn out masterpiece tonight so instead I give you a story. This story is about how our lacrosse team in high school ruined trips for generations to come.

Senior year of high school Scotia-Glenville was on pace to have it’s best season in history with a chance at the first ever sectional title in school history. As always we went down to New Jersey to play against South Brunswick on spring break with both JV and Varsity teams. In past years we had gone to Syracuse and as a freshman I witnessed our Seniors head to frat row to play frisbee with the SU students. It was fuckin legit (at the time). Since we were not going to Syracuse and had no where to go we decided to turn to the next best things, drugs and wrestling.

Upon arriving at the hotel we immediately made the freshman room into the wrestling room. Put all the beds on the floor and resident psychopath Reko (full name withheld for liability reasons) decided to take on any and all comers. He was launching 100 pound freshman across the room with ease. He was so much of a danger to himself and others that the freshman abandoned the room completely.

With no more kids to abuse the upperclassmen returned to their hotel rooms to settle in after dinner. Our friendly neighborhood drug dealer just so happened to be one of my buddies. We wrapped the smoke alarms, opened the windows and puffed the magic dragon while someone stayed on look out for coaches (my dad).

Eventually we were all too baked to continue, including our 250 pound attack-man who found himself wedged in between two beds crying because of how high he was. The biggest issue to arise from it all was what to do with the excess weed. As we boarded the bus the next day I was handed a bag of Doritos and told to make sure no one found it. I understood the assignment and stashed it away in the farthest back corner of the bus. We successfully offloaded the package after the bus trip and thought nothing of it.

A few days later the entire team was called into a room after school and told not to talk to each other. I thought the jig was up. We were brought in one by one and questioned about various things. I distinctly remember my assistant principal seeing me and saying “Mr. Leffler, so what’s this I hear about a Doritos bag? Aren’t you supposed to be the quarterback of the football team?”. I was caught dead to rights, or was I? They didn’t have evidence, only hearsay. As my future lawyer Josh would advise I did the smart thing, deny, deny, deny.

Eventually we were told we had to forfeit our next 4 games, all of which we were favored by 10 goals or more according to my expert betting lines. 4 games for a little weed? How is that possible? It wasn’t.

Come to find out, after all of the seniors went back to their rooms our junior goalie, a super lib who now bartends in Brooklyn decided it would be a good idea to take a shit in the tank of the toilet, an Upper Decker as it’s known. Those freshman who ran out of the wrestling room? Put 3 holes in walls across the hotel from racing each other in circles around the 3rd floor. The local paper literally printed an article about how we had vandalized hotel property. A black eye on the good Scotia name for sure.

That fateful day ended up costing the lacrosse team their annual spring break trip permanently. Our coach resigned after a sectional final loss to Glens Falls and we never regained our former glory. Some would say we broke Scotia Lacrosse forever, I would argue if you can fix a toilet that has been Upper Deckered, you can fix anything.

The biggest lesson that came out of all of this is if your parents drug test you just claim that your friends who were already in college hot boxed the van you were in, just Incase you test positive.

1. Steve

2. Don Eaves

3. Ryan

4. Keegan

5. GT

6. Josh

7. Frank

8. Don

9. Jafar

10. Jordan

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