We are BACK baby!
The first week of the Wasted Talent season has come and gone and our inaugural Frank’s Matchup of the Week was a resounding success. It produced the smallest margin of victory of the week with Ryan edging out Don Eaves by .2 points and more importantly, I predicted the winner correctly using advanced Manalytics.
We are going to try to replicate our historic start with another absolutely fire Matchup of the Week. This week we will be looking at two players who’s Fantasy teams are almost as similar as their athletic ability. Don’s “I Beat Leffler” squad (congrats you beat a crippled kid) will be taking on Jordan’s “Chalupa Batmans” in this weeks edition of Frank’s Matchup of the Week. We will go position by position to breakdown who has the advantage when it comes to the probable starters.
Christian McCaffrey and Jordan Howard vs. The Falcon’s Backfield
While starting both of the Falcon’s backs in the RB1 and RB2 slot on the same team may seem like a desperation move by Don, there may be some merit to his mad scientist-like tendencies. In 2016 and 2017 Tevin Coleman and Devonta Freeman combined for over 2,000 yards each season and a total of 40 touchdowns over those two years. Those numbers make them a viable option for RB1 and RB2 slots. Jordan rolls out the young, exciting duo of Jordan Howard and Christian McCaffrey. These two guys are very different backs with one thing in common: BIG play ability. Howard, who if you remember, led all rushers in 2016 with a 5.2 YPC average is a human home-run waiting to happen. I expect him to bust open Pete Carroll’s defense open like the fruit loop girl (not going to link a picture to that one). McCaffrey is a PPR machine who quietly rushed for 5 YPC last week against a stout Cowboys Defense. Ultimately this matchup comes down to one important element: Height
The always reliable internet puts Devonta Freeman at 5’9″ and Tevin Coleman at 6′ 1″. That is a whole combined 2 inches shorter than Jordan Howard and Christian McCaffrey. While Devonta Freeman’s minuscule stature is obviously adorable and I want nothing more than to give him a hug, I am going to have to go with the the duo that can each ride the Boomerang at Great Escape without having to stand on their tippy toes.
RB Advantage: Chalupa Batmans
Demaryius Thomas and Robby Anderson vs. Julio Jones and Randall Cobb
Name a Falcons’ player who Don isn’t starting this week, I’ll wait….
This Falcons’ player however is a no-brainer starter and probable Fantasy stud every single week. Julio Jones has ever tool needed to be the best receiver in the league year-in and year-out. Problem is, he just hasn’t done it consistently. Julio has only finished inside the Top-5 in PPR format ONCE in his entire career. If Matt Ryan’s Red Zone woes continue expect that same result this year. The veteran on the other side of the equation is Demaryius Thomas. A consistent player who, along with Emmanuel Sanders seems to get over-looked year after year. Well I am here to tell you to grow a fuckin brain and give the man his due. He broke an 80 yard touchdown run in OT against the Steelers in 2011 and single handedly convince idiots that Tim Tebow was a serviceable NFL starting quarterback (Sucks to suck Kaep). Tebow should literally be on his knees praying to Thomas rather than some fake religion that is just an excuse for old white men to touch their alter boys. But I digress. This weeks wide receiver matchup comes down to a single solitary detail and that detail is just one click away.
HAHAHAHA YOU FUCKIN FELL FOR IT!
In reality its Julio Jones man, that dude is a freak, maybe not a top 5 WR freak, but a freak nonetheless.
WR Advantage: I Beat Leffler’s
Chris Hogan vs. Michael Crabtree
Michael Crabtree has found a new home in Baltimore and while he did find the end zone in week 1 his usage left something to be desired. He was targeted 6 times for only 3 catches, one being that aforementioned touchdown. It is a new team and he is a talented player so I don’t see any reason he and Flacco or Lamar or whoever is playing quarterback for the Ravens don’t continue to develop a rapport and his target share continue to rise. Chris Hogan was another performer that could have caused fantasy owners to throw their televisions out the window on Sunday. He turned in a completely garbage performance only catching one ball for 11 yards. Look for Tom Brady to find him a few more times this week, how many more though, remains to be seen. This matchup comes down to one big difference in these two men: Ethnicity.
You thought I was going to say that since Chris Hogan is white Bill Belichick will make sure Tom Brady finds him at least 3 times in the end zone this week. Well you were WRONG. Chris Hogan has the advantage here because he is not going to have to worry about dudes coming at his literal neck all game because hes wearing a 100,000 dollar necklace. Did I mention Chris Hogan played lacrosse in college? Yeah thats a fun fact i bet you guys hadn’t heard before.
Flex Advantage: I Beat Leffler’s
Zach Ertz vs. George Kittle
Kittle was a sleeper to watch this season and in Week 1 he showed exactly why by hauling in 5 catches for 90 yards to land himself as the #6 TE scorer. Ertz, while a bit underwhelming did his share by producing 9.8 points with Big Dick Nick throwing to him. These two are very similar in both skill set and utilization (to be honest I haven’t watched a second of Kittle playing football but they are both white guys at the same position so whatever). Jordan is hoping to get Ertz back on track here and find pay dirt a time or two on Sunday. This position battle will come down to: Significant Others.
George Kittle may have a girlfriend or wife but honestly I didn’t even bother looking it up. Julie Ertz is arguably more successful at her sport than her own husband. Does that mean that she wears the pants in this relationship? Maybe, but that’s not for me to decide. Male ego will shine through here and Zach will not be over shadowed by his much physically weaker wife.
TE Advantage: Chalupa Batmans
Aaron Rodgers vs Deshaun Watson
The moment we have ALL been waiting for, the most crucial head to head of this weeks matchup. Aaron Rodgers, formerly of House McCann, King of the Tundra has found a new home with the Chalupa Batmans and their fearless jew leader, Jordan. In his first game under the new regime he gave the Chalupa Batmans quite a scare before leading the Packers to a historic victory. Watson on the other hand looked absolutely rattled against the Patriots. Donald is putting all of his eggs in one basket here by trading away possibly the best Quarterback in the game and relying on the young stud fresh off blowing his knee out. Conventional wisdom says Aaron Rodgers will outplay the second year signal caller but since when do we here at Wasted Talent ever subscribe to conventional wisdom? This matchup will come down to one thing: Versatility.
Has Deshaun Watson ever been on the Office? I didn’t think so. Has he ever been an executive producer on the wildly popular television show Destination Dallas? Again, thats a big fat NOPE. If Deshaun wants to beat Aaron Rodgers he better find a new slant because he will not be doing it on the football field or in Hollywood, guy is like a chameleon. Rodgers all the way here.
QB Advantage: Chalupa Batmans
Your Week 2 Matchup of the Week winner is….
And thats the bottom line…
Come back next week for another riveting Matchup of the Week.