Guster’s Blunders Week 9: Injuries, Bye Weeks, and Suckage

Gus’s recap was on point, well written, and fair. He did forget one thing though–I also whipped him on the fantasy field, winning by nearly 40 points. It was a no good, very bad, miserable week for the Gus. I hope this week is not any better.

The topic of this week is injures, bye weeks, and suckage. My three excuses for why I am about to lose to GT despite him sitting Kenyan Drake. Even the shit coach writing this article would have given him the start over Michel or Singletary (I think Baltimore will bottle up Michel and I think Buffalo tries to show Josh Allen can beat the Redskins). But, luckily for GT, I will still lose.

Injuries: Big Ben, OJ Howard, James Connor, and Josh Gordon. If I told you at the beginning of the year that a team had all four of these players you might have thought it would be a decent team without knowing the rest of the players. Then Big Ben gets a boo boo on his elbow, OJ Howard tweaks his hamstring (if not hurt he would be in the suckage category), James Connor separates his shoulder in garbage time last week, and Josh Gordon fucked his knee up (like OJ Howard, if not hurt I would also rely on the suckage excuse).

Bye Weeks: Michael Thomas and Goff. My only consistently good player, Michael Thomas, is on bye this week. The QB of my future, thrust into the starting lineup to replace the injured Big Ben, is on bye as well.

Suckage: Melvin Gordon, Damien Williams, and Antonio Brown. To put the cherry on top of this week, I can’t even have faith starting Melvin Gordon or Damien Williams to replace an injured Connor this week because these players have been disappointing as fuck. Damien Williams, replaced by the nearly dead McCoy, looked elite to finish last year. Now he looks like garbage, Melvin Gordon can’t average over 3 YPC, and Antonio Brown has severe personal issues.

All in all, it adds up to I am projected to score under 120 points and Kirk just royally sucked. Bye bye to my bye week.

Now to the challenge. I genuinely like Gus’s picks again, as I did the last 3 weeks when he sucked. Hopefully it continues.

OAK -2.5 vs DET : I am going with one challenge. My reasoning is simple, I need to avoid challenging college picks because I know as much about college football as Sacko knows about the Sabres or Leffler knows about valuing fantasy players or White Don knows about anger management. I can’t pick against the Pats on principle, the Chargers have continually fucked me, and the Broncos are truly dog shit and starting a rookie QB. My choices narrowed to this and the under on the Bucs and Seahawks, I decided to roll the dice with Matt Patricia and his beautiful beard.

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