Ranking All NFL Uniforms: Worst to First

Twitter has been buzzing with opinions (bad and worse)

32) Arizona Cardinals

Kyler Murray is tiny

Listen, if any team needs an upgrade it is the Cardinals. Kyler Murray makes this jersey look 1% more swaggy than it is but still, far behind the rest of the NFL. The blocky red sleeves and sides are reminiscent of the uniforms you would generate for the Tiburon Sharks on Madden. Just yuck.

31) Chicago Bears

Bad at football and dressing

Another Uniform that is outdated and boring. Don’t get me wrong they have some pretty decent alternates but they need to revamp the helmets worse than their Quarterback situation.

30) Denver Broncos

Break out team of the year.

I almost used a picture of Peyton because that is how long these uniforms have gone unchanged. If we were talking about alternates the Broncos might crack the top 10. The Block logo D helmets are one of my favorite throwbacks across the league. But sadly, these are not it chief.

29) Jacksonville Jaguars

Right before he almost snuffed out Tony Khan

Now we are creeping into the not THAT bad territory. I like that the Jags went simple and did away with the abhorrent two-tone helmet. Their biggest issue is their color scheme sucks more a Dyson in a lint factory. Get ride of the puke yellow and what ever the hell that green-blue is. Start fresh Shahid.

28) New York Giants

Daniel Jones > Josh Allen

The biggest piece of flare the Giants have on their uniforms is a grey stripe on their pants. It’s fine, its minimalist, it is just nothing to write home about. Their white color rush jerseys however, those make it move.

27) Detroit Lions

Only thing saving this joke of a franchise is their colors. Still pretty ass in all respects. I am praying for the people of Detroit as we speak.

26) Atlanta Falcons

Matt Ryan confirmed still tall

I honestly wanted to put ATL (see what I did there?) higher on my list but the caveat is with all of the new uniforms released I have been taking into account alternates as well as the basic home and away. The red fade to black is putrid. The rest is actually quite nice. Who is going to tell NFL uniform designers that big block letters are not it though?

25) New York Jets

Ugly head ass Sam Darnold

These and Atlanta’s new threads are essentially interchangeable. Only thing that gives the Jets a slight edge is the fact that they didn’t put NYC across the chest. That would have been grounds for expulsion. Cue Bills fans “ThErE iS oNlY oNe TrUe Ny TeAm”.

24) Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Tom is going to look good in these.

Okay, I don’t know if it is the fact that Tampa’s old uniforms were possibly the worst in the league or if this are actually okay but either way, MAJOR upgrade at the Quarterback position and the uniforms position. I am holding out hope that the pewter looks good on the field. This take may back fire on me but I can handle it.

23) Seattle Seahawks

Ciara’s baby daddy’s husband

I really don’t know what the overwhelming consensus is on Seattle’s uniforms but I know that Neon Green accents are soooo 2018. These are good for the time being but if Seattle keeps implementing more and more of that highlighter shade I think we will have to hand them the Done Chain. These boys are out here looking like a Con Bro Chill meet up circa 2009.

22) Washington Redskins

Washington R-Words

Another uniform that hasn’t changed in quite awhile but this time I think it may be for the better. The R-Words are not supposed to be swaggy, they are supposed to be classic and below average. The triple stripe on the helmet is timeless and the minimalist design works well down in the District of Columbia. All they have to do is sell the team and they may win a title in the next 50 years.

21) Cleveland Browns

Cleveland can’t afford to get players to model their jerseys

Okay, hear me out. I know the Browns probably have the worst color scheme in the NFL. That being said, these are about as good as you can get using those colors. The triple stripe on the helmet that matches the socks and shoulder pads is classic and clean. It doesn’t hurt that the Browns roster has some of the swaggiest players in the league.

20) Indianapolis Colts

GT’s next player to have a catastrophic injury

The Colts are what the Giants and Broncos wish they could be in terms of unis. They have a classic look, fantastic colors, slightly boring overall aesthetic but still nice. The grey facemasks are often overlooked but really add an element of individuality to a seemingly plain uniform.

19) Tennessee Titans

Two of the most underrated players in the league and Taylor Lewan

The Titans underwent a full on rebrand when it comes to uniforms and I was skeptical at first but as time has gone on they have grown on me. I think the new helmet is a huge upgrade as well as the numbers and red accents. The only thing really holding these uniforms back is the “sword” on the shoulder pads, big trash.

18) Cincinnati Bengals

Giovani Bernard still better

A criminally underrated uniform, the Bengals have brought together style and flair to create a look that is unique while also fitting into the NFL’s overall image. If they adjusted the numbers and tiger stripes on the pants to a more modern look this could be one of the best uniforms in the league. Joe Burrow is going to look like a million bucks with the tiger striped helmet on his head. Hopefully he can teach Joe Mixon how to respect women.

17) Las Vegas Raiders

The most dysfunctional couple in the NFL

I don’t see how the Raiders don’t have at least a small rebrand of their current style to fit into the Las Vegas scene but that being said it hasn’t happened yet. This is a good look, edgy and intimidating while also being clean and classic. Look for them to add a little flare in 2020. Personally I think adding some gold to the numbers or helmet would a small but welcomed change in Sin City.

16) Carolina Panthers

Jordan’s Steed carrying him to another playoff appearance this year

Okay I know this may be met with criticism but I have been a fan of the Panthers uniforms since they began incorporating more and more black. CMC looks so fast in this uniform and even when they go all white it is fresh and clean. They just need to update those helmets soon, the flared stripes gots to go.

15) Los Angeles Rams

2020 Uniform of the Rams

Here is where the butt hurt people of Twitter are going to come for me. The faded numbers? Sick. The Helmets? Top 5 in the League. The Colors? Iconic. When people see these on the field they will be forced to walk back their initial reaction. The fact that they are using “bone” instead of straight up white on the away uniforms is creative and will look good. The homage to “Off-White” with the stitching on the patch is overlooked and swaggy as hell. The booger eater fans of old hate these for the same reason they hate mobile quarterbacks. They are scared of change. Keep doing your thing Rams, I guess it doesn’t really matter you have no real fans anyway.

14) Miami Dolphins

Rumored changes for upcoming season

This one is not set in stone. It is rumored that these uniforms are going to be heavy into the rotation for 2020 and possibly serve as the home uniforms for Miami. This would be massive for them. New franchise QB and a new look to match. Tua in this jersey might be the hottest thing I have seen since the Alexandra Daddario scene in True Detective.

13) Dallas Cowboys

Pay the man Jerry!

The most recognizable uniform in the NFL (at least in Jerry Jones eyes). The Cowboys have done it well for the better part of their history as a franchise. The star is a staple of American Football. I am not sure if it is pure laziness or stubbornness from the Jones family but the Cowboys have not given into societal pressures to modernize their uniforms and it actually WORKS for them. Also wearing white at home is a power move that I hate so much that I actually respect it. *hat tip*

12) Green Bay Packers

Aaron Rodgers whole family hates him

I could write about history and tradition all over again or you could just look at what I wrote for Dallas. These are good, not great, but good.

11) Philadelphia Eagles

I am very scared of Jalen Mills

The best helmet in the NFL and it isn’t up for discussion. The wings are perfect and the Eagles logo on the shoulder pad is subtle but also pops. They can we worn with black or white accessories it doesn’t matter. This look is very good. It could only be better if they adopted the all-black uniforms as their home jerseys permanently.

10) Houston Texans

Deshaun is so lonely without Nuk

I will admit this may be because of Deshaun Watson and Deandre Hopkins (RIP in Peace) but these uniforms do the Red, White and Blue scheme so well. They look equally as good on the skill players as the lineman and even though they are a recent expansion team their uniforms feel classic. Now if they could only hire a GM to replace their GM/Coach and not sell the best WR in the game for pennies that may help them win a bit more.

9) Minnesota Vikings

My whole heart Dalvin Cook

The matte helmets really took this look to the next level. Couple that with the slight changes to the numbers and the prominence of yellow accents and you have a recipe for a top-10 look in the NFL. It even makes Kirk Cousins look like less of a dork.

8) Pittsburgh Steelers

Do you think I could survive a hit from TJ Watt?

The Steelers have somehow always looked perfect. Similar to that of the Cowboys and Packers they have maintained a tradition of excellence that they believe is tied to their identity. The major thing that sets them apart is their logo. It is not what you think of as a typical sports logo but somehow it just works.

7) New England Patriots

Please repeat after me. “These are good. If I think otherwise I am stupid.” See didn’t that feel good? This is the best move the Patriots have made when it comes to jerseys in a while. Unfortunately the image above will never been seen again. I think Patriots fans will recover.

6) Baltimore Ravens

Probably the most intimidating uniform in the league, the Ravens have found their franchise QB and he looks good in Purple and Black. Their alternates are gas as well (not taken into account in this ranking). The purple jerseys paired with the black pants is a fit I would sell my left nut for my team to have.

5) Buffalo Bills

Great arm, looks good in shorts, can’t complete an out route.

I spoke to a Bills fan today who wants them to bring back the red helmets. That is all you need to know about the decision making of Buffalo fans. They are lucky that management doesn’t allow them to make any decisions because these uniforms are very good. The white helmet is clean and fantastic.

4) Kansas City Chiefs

The red on red combo *chefs kiss*. The Chiefs are going to be good for awhile and if they keep churning out uniform combinations like the ones seen above they will empirically prove the “look good, feel good, feel good, play good” theory. Keep doing you Kansas City maybe mix in some black alternates to really seal the deal.

3) New Orleans Saints

Michael Thomas can only run slants

Drew Brees and Michael Thomas. Black and Gold. Two combos that have proven to make magic. If I was including alternates the Saints may have just taken the top spot because of their all white color rush jerseys. Those are the best in the league. Unfortunately I have to have some journalistic integrity but these are still pretty damn sweet.

2) San Francisco 49ers

Normally I can pick out one or two things that set a teams uniforms apart that I really like but for some reason I can’t with San Fran. Maybe because it is all good or maybe because they blend seamlessly together that there are no details that really pop but these have withstood the test of time. Your reigning NFC Champs on the field and on the rack.

1. Los Angeles Chargers

These are hands down the best in the league. The Chargers Powder Blues may just be the best jersey in all of sports. They took it to the next level in 2020 and may be the team to root for in LA simply because of their never ending drip. Long Live The Kings.

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