Frank’s Power Rankings

Week 6: Objectivity is a rare trait

Since the dawn of time humanity has struggled to focus the blurred lines between objectivity and implicit bias. Bias comes in many forms, Similarity Bias, Experience Bias, Expedience Bias, Distance Bias and many others. There is no question that, despite googling “different kinds of bias” only moments ago, I can identify and suppress all of my biases in order to remain completely, and unequivocally objective.

To prove my ability to be unbiased I will be giving each member of the WTFFL a compliment that fits their own personality and life experience. As always, if anyone needs an unbiased opinion from a truly unflappable source, I am your man.

1. Stove (4-1 694.12 PF) – Steve is a free spirit, unbothered by societal pressures but also sensitive to the wants and needs of those around him.

2. Don E. (4-1 692.66 PF) – Don can hang with the best of them when it comes to THC consumption. His jovial demeanor makes him difficult to dislike, regardless of race, gender, ethnicity or sexual orientation.

3. Blockhead (3-2 684.54 PF) – Ryan is the life of the party, possibly the most FTB person to ever exist while also not exuding “frat douche” energy that often comes along with enjoy a few pints with the lads.

4. Greg (4-1 649.34 PF) – Greg can find an adventure in anything whether it is an apple orchard or flipping over his handle bars mountain biking. If you need recommendations for anything, Greg is your guys (follow @ 518_fooddate on Instagram)

5. Keegan (590.64 PF) – Keegan’s passion for the things he believes in is truly admirable. Whether it is backing a candidate who shares his values or his love for the Bills, if Keegan vouches for you he will have your back through thick and thin.

6. Josh (3-2 522.08 PF) – Josh is not afraid to take on tasks that others would shy away from like Commissioner of this hallowed league. He is a great father and the first person I turn too for drink recommendations.

7. Donald (2-3 540.96 PF) – Donald is the personification of self growth. He has had many different phases in his life (i.e. Free Thinking Don) that have compounded to create a well rounded individual. He has stepped into a father role which may be his best phase to date. Also, have Karissa send me her recipes. I burnt the pecans for my brown butter sauce tonight and I’m at wits end.

8. Frank (1-4 587.7 PF) – Most objective person to ever objective.

9. Jafar (489.28 PF) – The winningest franchise in the league for a reason. Jason is possibly the most informed person in the group. I applaud his effort to seek out information on things in his life that he is curious about or questions with fervor.

10. Jordan (435.18 PF) – Jordan is on the cutting edge of the cultural zeitgeist. His meme knowledge and humor are spot on because of his ability to read the groups mood and add color to any conversation. He also has a penis that very much exists.

Thank you for your time and as always #BeObjective

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s