matchup of the week: week 7

Fireworks! Don looked around the league and saw that Steve and Ryan had some dangerous squads, GT was looking dangerous, and I was underperforming but potentially a roadblock to his chances to repeat.* Sacko looked around and saw the barren wasteland that is his roster and the donut hole in the win column. Their eyes locked and boom, quite possibly the biggest trade in the history of our league was consummated leading to a monumental shift in the power of the league for the next two years. Sacko gets the pieces needed for a much needed rebuild and Don leaped to the top of FPR and, more importantly, a featured spot in Week 7’s Matchup of the Week.

Before we hop in to the analysis a quick review of last week’s predictions. I nailed the Matchup of the Week with Steve crushing Ryan and I also predicted Donals and Jafar pulling out wins. My two “wrong” picks were GT’s surprise crushing of Don and my loss to Keegan (where I said to read between the lines). Overall record is 14-6. Confirmed that I can’t mush without losing money.

Matchup of the Week: Don (FPR 1) v. Ryan (FPR 4): Ryan’s bye week woes are resolved, leading to a much more intriguing matchup than last week. In fact, IBM’s Watson projects Ryan to win by nearly 5 points. Spoiler, but I know better than that stupid AI.

QB: Advantage Ryan. The forgotten piece in the blockbuster trade was Derek Carr (QB19) coming in to hopefully solve Don’s surprising QB issues and to stack with Devante. Savvy move by Don and while Carr is an upgrade over Russ (shock face emoji) Justin Herbert (QB8) is the real deal any week Frank and I do not bet on him to pass for a TD.

RB: Advantage Don. No offense to the impressive Dameon Pierce (RB15) and the resurgent Josh Jacobs (RB7) but Don’s White Steed (RB4) and Chubb (RB3) are going to give him the advantage each and every week both are playing and healthy.

WR: Slight Advantage Don. Ratings will be down with both Justin Jefferson (WR4) and Cooper Kupp (WR2) on byes but these powerhouses have the depth to keep our interest. After years of doubting DK Metcalf (WR20) and weeks of doubting his ability to perform with Geno I am going to admit I was wrong about Seattle’s offense. All DK does is surprise us by breaking off a big play for a touchdown or catching 7/149 when I say he will have a down week. Throw in Adams (WR8) and I am giving the slightest edge to Don’s duo over Amon Ra (WR19) and Pittman (WR14) because I do not trust Matt Ryan and because Dallas’ defense is the real deal.

TE: Advantage Ryan. Two years ago we would have had a reasonable debate of whether Kittle (TE24) or Waller (TE20) was the second best tight end for dynasty behind Kelce. Today we are wondering whether either will break 10 points, something that has happened a combined 3/9 times for these two tight ends this year. Bleak numbers. I am giving the edge to Ryan based on matchup, QB play, and because Waller is not asked to block.

Flex: Advantage Don. The embarrassment of riches by both squads are showcased here. Without Kupp Don is flexing Mixon (RB12) and Olave (WR24). I do not see Olave keeping this up all year but he will certainly put up a lot of points this week with Michael Thomas and Jarvis Landry likely to miss another game. Without Jefferson Ryan is flexing JT (RB40), the best RB in the league, and Lockett (WR13). If the Saints were healthy and I trusted the Colts I may flip to Ryan but this week the edge is Don’s.

Prediction: Watson is an idiot, Don wins in a close one.

Josh (FPR 7) v. Sacko (FPR 10): Falling in FPR will fuel the Suttons to beat Sacko. If the Suttons lose this game management will consider all options, including a firesale weeks after management decided to go all in for 2022. Josh by 20.

Steve (FPR 2) v. Donals (FPR 6): Donals does not understand how to rebuild so here is some free, unbiased advice that in no way helps me at all. Your goal should be to miss playoffs and enter the lottery. Get out of the race for that final playoff spot and let Keegan and I be disappointed after we get bounced in the wild card. This week will help you achieve that goal because Steve is going to smoke you.

Keegan (FPR 5) v. Frank (FPR 9): The bye week blues are hitting Keegan hard! In a shocker Frank will win but my bold prediction is neither team breaks 85 points.

GT (FPR 3) v. Jafar (FPR 8): I told everyone in the preseason GT would be good and now GT is a dark horse competitor fueled by his tight end and his rookie RBs. I do not expect another huge week from Aiyuk and I think GT’s high-floor high-ceiling rookie RBs will propel him to victory. At least these two can be happy the Giants are good.

Lets hope for a lot of shit talking, some upsets, and that the Bills’ bye week crushes their momentum and their season so the Pats can reclaim the East. GLHF from your master of statistics and statistical phenomena.

*By underperforming I mean riddled with injuries, poor luck, and shit QBs. Screw you Frank.

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