It’s that time of the year again, time for family, football, and food. Turkey, mashed potatoes and stuffing are a staple at this time of year but where do they actually stand up against one another? We will dive into the power rankings of Thanksgiving food and I expect a healthy debate to follow.
1.) Broccoli Rice Casserole: I am aware this is not a staple for most if any of you but I’m telling you right now, it should be. A simple dish that adds variety to your Thanksgiving dinner and more importantly, it’s green so you can pretend it’s healthy!
2.) Stuffing: The reason stuffing is not #1 is longevity. Stuffing is incredible but it’s year-long staying power just isn’t there. If you have stuffing any other time of year you are a weirdo and that’s just a fact.
3.) Apple Pie: Apple is the superior fall flavor and that is undeniable. If you prefer pumpkin you should take your dentures out and try again, Fuckin’ loser. Pie isn’t the highlight of the day but I’ll be damned if it gets cast aside as a second rate dish.
4.) Sweet Potatoes: This is one that has grown on me in recent years. A brown sugar cinnamon topping is absolutely key here. If you top it with marshmallows you might as well sit at the kids table because you are prepubescent.
5.) Mashed Potatoes: A great dish that would be higher if not for one glaring draw back, reheatability. Mashed potatoes are some of the WORST left overs. At its ceiling mashed potatoes can go toe to toe with any other giant on this list but after a day it loses its luster.
6.) Pumpkin Pie: Even though Apple is superior fall flavor, pumpkin pie is a novelty that should be respected. The biggest upside with pumpkin pie is it can be served cold and it’s arguably just as good if not better.
7.) Turkey: Sure it’s the focal point for Aunt Gladis and Uncle Randy every year but let’s be honest, you just have it on your plate to take up a spot so you can say “gobble gobble motherfucker”. PSA to all those out there who come up with new ways to cook turkey every year, give it up. It’s just not that good. Elite day after sandwich though.
8.) Green Bean Casserole: Who decided this was a thing? I have never had a good one. If you give me a green bean casserole and you say it’s “the best” you’re probably right but it still can’t hold a candle to almost any other side
9.) Cranberry Sauce: I’ll admit Frank L brain washed me for many years with the canned cranberry sauce. I finally was able to break the chains of the cranberry sauce cult late in life. I here to tell my survivor story and that story is the following. This shit is ASS.
10.) Macaroni and Cheese: It’s thanksgiving not a barbecue, fuck outta here with that shit.
Now for the real treat. WTFFL Power Rankings.
2.) Don Eaves
10.) Kyle Pitts