matchup of the week: week 12

Well, Frank finally decides to post the FPR and royally messed up his food rankings. Unsurprising considering the kid has the palate of a 6 year old. Any real ranking MUST include cornbread and stuffed mushrooms and/or mushroom casserole. These are American staples on Thanksgiving. I wish he messed up the FPR as well but my only qualm is placing Don above Ryan after last week’s showing. Oh well.

Last week I went 4-1. My only incorrect prediction was GT v. Donals. GT looked like poop and Donals rode Jimmy G to glory bringing my record on the season to 35-10. Go me.

This week’s Matchup of the Week is Don (FPR 2) v. Keegan (FPR 4). A real powerhouse matchup that has far reaching implications for seeding. A win by Don keeps him in the running for the all-important bye week, whereas a win for Keegan gives him a chance to avoid a first round matchup with Ryan. Drama!

QB: Advantage Keegan. Unlike previous weeks, it is not as simple as “Josh Allen (QB2), no analysis needed” because Josh Allen has not been looking great. I am thinking this is a get right game for the Bills and Allen against a porous Detroit defense. Also I have never believed in Geno (QB7) and am too stubborn to admit I was wrong.

RB: Advantage Don. Chubb (RB5) and Mixon (RB7) have bad matchups this week but are still Chubb and Mixon. Keegan’s duo of Stevenson (RB9) and Kamara (RB14) are nothing to sneeze at but also have bad matchups. I would normally hedge and say Don gets the advantage only if Mixon plays but he has a certain white steed in a flex that would only improve Don’s positional advantage.

WR: Advantage Don. Diggs (WR1) will put up the most points of any WR this week. However, Samuel (WR19) has disappointed of late and Keegan needs a strong week from both players to overcome a resurgent Godwin (WR39) and the stud that is Davante Adams (WR3) who has been the highest scoring WR over the last two weeks.

TE: Conditional Advantage Keegan. Kittle (TE7) had an elite game last week but those weeks have been few and far between – not because Kittle isn’t a stud, but because the 49ers have too many mouths to feed. I am giving the edge to Kmet (TE11) who has come on hot with the emerging Fields but it all depends on whether Fields plays.

Flex: Advantage Don. CMC (RB3) and DK Metcalf (WR22) have the slight edge here over Pollard (RB10) and Conner (RB28). I believe in CMC’s floor and ceiling and think the 49ers want him to get 15 touches every week no matter what and DK has been consistently good. Pollard is exciting but performances like last week are rare and I doubt a back to back 30 point game is in the cards and who knows what the Cardinals are doing.

Prediction: Watson has Don as a 9 point favorite in a game projected to be very high scoring. I am riding with Watson. Don by 14.

Ryan (FPR 3) v. Josh (FPR 5): Another key matchup for seeding but one projected to be a blowout. Watson is giving Ryan the positional advantage at every position outside tight end… Help me baby Jesus, help me Allah, help me Jewish God. Ryan by 18 and Ekeler scores 3 TDs. Mushing Frank’s team helped me last week, I am mushing Ryan’s this week. #SorryNotSorry.

Jafar (FPR 9) v. Donals (FPR 8): What happens when a dumpster fire collides with a cesspool? Answer: a steaming pile of shit. And that is what we have in this matchup between two franchises that have combined for 5 of the league’s 9 Naomis. I predict neither team breaks 105 points but am predicting Donals wins by 6 on the backs of Jimmy G and Deebo.

GT (FPR 6) v. Frank (FPR 7): Does Chase play? Does Jamaal Williams score 5 goal line TDs this week? Will DJ Moore break 6 points? So many unknowns here but GT needs to beat a struggling squad in order to lock in the bye to have any shot at getting the Naomi with Ryan and I right on his heels. I think GT motivates the squad and gets the W (reverse jinx, initiated).

Steve (FPR 1) v. Sacko (FPR 10): So, Sacko’s number 1 dynasty asset, Kyle Pitts, may or may not have torn his ACL. Throw in Rodgers sucking and Sacko’s historically bad team and I am going with Steve by 77.

Happy Thanksgiving Fellas.

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