Not Your Father’s Power Rankings Week 7


Currently searching for any sign of life from The Athletes and Don, outlook seems bleak.  Not a good look for the boys on our side of the fence, but as Donald always says.

HOw MaNy rIngZ dO yOu GUyZ hAve?

Gotta say, kids got a point. Facts don’t care about your feelings.  Alas, going 0-5 this week will be taken into consideration when finding a slot for each team this week. I will dive into a few big take aways from this weeks games as well as off the field issues plaguing teams before I give you the full Power Rankings.




1.) GT is one piece away from being really, really fucking scary.

Some of you will say “But Frank he literally dropped TWO HUNDO this week, how can you say he is one piece away?”.  To that I say, almost HALF of his scoring came from 3 players, all wide receivers.  Greg has an absolute unit in the receiving department.  Do I think Boyd will come back down to earth slightly? Yes. Do I think he may be a better option going forward than Hilton even when TY is healthy? I actually do.  Regardless Thielen and Hill are both top 5 plays week in and week out, GT just needs a stud running back.  David Johnson and Sony Michel are both good, don’t get me wrong but they aren’t quite where they need to be for GT to capture a championship this year.  Again, his team is a god damn wagon, but with one stud running back (which Michel may turn into) GT could be unstoppable.


2.) Ryan finally didn’t have the most points of the week dropped on his face.

This could be the turn around that he needs to make that playoff push? In the coming weeks there will be the Sexual Tension matchup (Jordan vs. Ryan) and Ryan will also go up against Zeglen before heading back into league play.  Keep and eye on Ryan to make a short run here and possibly sneak in the back end of the playoff picture as well as the back end of Jordan.

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3.) Is Donald going to be crashing back down to earth, and is Keegan dead?

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SURE FUCKIN LOOKS THAT WAY.  Donald’s defensive tactics did not seem to be fruitful in the Don Bowl this week as he got a mushroom shaped bruise right across his cheek from Don Eaves in the form of 183.2 Points.  Dare I say it, #TheTankIsBackOn!  While Donald may not have the depth, especially with Devonta Freeman on IR, or the team spirit to avoid a major skid, Keegan may be in an even worse place.  Failing to break 100 points in this league is a death sentence (trust me, I would know).  The return of the Saints this week may save Keegan from utter embarrassment, or it may not.  We saw what the Ravens defense did to the almighty Titans offense last week. This may spell tough sledding for Ingram and Kamara and a long day for Drew Brees.  These guys better pull something out of their ass with bye weeks coming up if they are going to stay afloat.


P.S. Jordan and I suck too, all of our hope lies with Zeglen.


Complete Power Rankings Below

1. Jason
2. Josh
3. GT
4. Zeglen
5. Don Eaves
6. Ryan
T7. Jordan
T7. Donald
9. Leffler
10. Keegan


Spitters are quitters.




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